the big finish

First off, sorry for the delay.

I didn't have a lot of computer access on the road trip home, and i'm just trying to get my life back in order here in St. Paul. I also had a short period of freaking out, seeing as how my bank account was in the negative by the time i reached my hometown in Illinois. Luckily i have great parents who had no problem helping me out and working a little extra to put this behind us. (thanks again!)

After talking to friends that have been around here all summer, i realize that i really have a lot more knowledge about the music business. I feel like because of my experience in Los Angeles that i am now one step ahead of the game. I know names and companies that none of my friends have heard of, but should know!

Being in that situation, in the tall office building in Beverly Hills, made me rethink my direction. But only slightly. I have had a plan for awhile, and it's still my plan. I just didn't know that it might involve moving to California (Which now seems like a definite possibility). Talking with Debbie and especially Charley (who was nice enough to have lunch with me one lovely day in Culver City) has really made me think about what i need to do to get where i want to be. Now, i've always said i don't want to work for a large corporation. That's not really my style. But after this experience i'm thinking that getting a job at one to stay within the industry might not be such a bad idea.

I want to have my own artist management agency. That's the goal. But until then, working at the Embassy Suites isn't going to get me any closer. I've been doing alright on my own, helping out The Ballet and Julie Moffitt.. and there's even another band that wants my help here in st. paul. So i'm not slacking. In fact, i feel like i don't put enough effort into those guys. I haven't in the last few weeks anyway, but that's because i was traveling and unpacking and whatnot. I should have more time now.

It is terrifying and so exciting, graduating from college in only one semester. I like the twin cities, i'd like to stay around for awhile but if there's nothing here for me, then it looks like California, here i come. I'm in such turmoil about where i'm going to be in a year.. because i have no idea. I'm just hoping The Ballet or Julie Moffitt gets famous so i can just manage them and be successful :) but unfortunately, the chances of that happening are very slim. It is hard for any band to get past a certain level of stardom anymore.

I'm torn between being independent or going to work for a large company. I'm the independent type. But i'm also realistic and down-to-earth, and realize that i might want a little job security. I know Debbie and Charley are always thinking on the large scale and are hoping i get a job with one of those large companies. That would be great, but i don't want to feel like i'm selling out my own morals and values. After working at The Firm, i feel that maybe i could work for one of those companies and have time on the side to keep working on my own projects like i'm doing now (therefore, not selling out).

maybe i need a job at one of these large companies to be successful financially. actually, i know that i do, unless something amazing happens and am able to make it on my own as an independent business. maybe one day. but until then, having a job within the industry is important. i need to keep all of the connections that i have made because in this industry, its all about who you know. when you have all of the right connections you can get your bands places. that's where i need to be.

sorry, i realize that this is one huge brainstorm. but, that's how i feel after spending my summer in Beverly Hills.

thanks for all your support

i love you

amanda

(ps. if i think of anything else i'll add it in within the next week. otherwise, thanks for reading! peace)